Sorry

Sorry is a word that people use to ask for forgiveness when they have done something wrong.  In some cases you use it when you didn’t do anything wrong just to ‘fix’ the problem.  Other times you use it when you are wrong and have hurt someone you care about.  Sometimes the words and the feelings behind it are enough, but sometimes sorry just doesn’t cut it.

I have dealt with both sides of this the last few days, saying it when I didn’t do anything wrong, and saying it when I was truly wrong and wish I could show how truly sorry I am.  In both cases, I hurt people that I truly care about, directly and indirectly.

In the first case, someone close to me felt left out because they were the last to know about something going on in my life.  They found out from someone else and felt betrayed because they didn’t hear it from me.  Now I am not trying to pass the blame, but this person and I are not the best when it comes to communicating with one another.  I always have to make the effort to communicate and to me that is not right or fair.  I have never understood how hard it is for people to pick up the phone, write an email, send a text message, etc. just to show you care.  So to calm down the
situation I called them and listened to how they felt and then apologized.  I feel that I did nothing wrong, but for them to hear that I am sorry was what they needed.

The other case is where I royally screwed up.  I hurt someone I care about more than anything else in the world by basically insulting and questioning them.  As much as I wish, I cannot take back what I said, the damage is done.  I’m not sure saying sorry or trying to show how truly sorry I am will help this person forgive me.  It tears me up inside about what I did and I am truly upset with myself.  I don’t know what else I can do to show how sorry I am and how much I am begging for forgiveness.  Maybe this will help, maybe time is needed to heal the wounds that I caused, I don’t know.  But whatever needs to be done, I will do it.

Babe, I am so truly sorry for questioning you and would do anything for your forgiveness.  I never wanted to hurt you and was very wrong for what I did.  I don’t blame you for being mad at me, I am truly mad at myself for what I did.  I love you more than anything in the world and wish I could show my love and how truly sorry I am.

Kevin

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